So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
