How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
