I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
