And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
