you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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