I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize