he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
