its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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