it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
that's an acceptable place to lick
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
