You work out of a Hotel?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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