I'm sorry my penis didn't work
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
