ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
