Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
