she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
