Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
