Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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