Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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