I CAN MOONWALK!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
