I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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