did you get engaged???
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
