the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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