playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
