it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
