The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
