So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You can't special order awesome
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
