SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
