i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
