Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
