cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
