Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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