sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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