you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
