he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
