I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
handjob tips. give me some.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
