Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
