I heard we made out
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
