roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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