No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
