You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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