i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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