we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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