Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
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