I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
