your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
