Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
