he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
time to smoke my breakfast
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
