did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
