I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
