i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize