You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
