Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize