nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
