If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Soap is not a condiment
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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