So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he thought i was a dude.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
