I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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