tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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