So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
